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October 04, 2004 -
Holy shit, we updated twice in one month, Whichever title pleases you more. And by the "force," I of course mean the graphic power of the X-Box. For the love of god, if you can make dozens of freakishly disfigured humans marching at you with quick trigger fingers, shouting taunts and making living opponents seem like preschoolers in Halo, you'd think you could make a few dozen Stormtroopers have a bit more intelligence than the average housefly and add a few decent graphic renderings in Star Wars: Battlefront. Yeah, the game's concept is cool. Yeah, there are Wookies and Ewoks. Yeah, you might even score a Tie Fighter a few times. But really, the slow-paced trigger action and all-too-easy character deaths make this game a very slow, less intelligent, and altogether poor replacement for my Halo lust. One month, five days. The countdown to the sequel rages on. That's Halo 2, November 9th. We're not excited about that one at all. No sir. Speaking of amazingly good games with very good graphics, let's talk about something that is worth every waking second of your time. Burnout 3. Buy it now. I shouldn't even have to review this, because the incredible power that has gone into making this the absolute best sequel and top racer ever created should speak for itself. But just in case, let me summarize this as quickly as possible, so I can get back to playing it. Graphics are intense, heavy on quality, short on nothing. Crash mode is back, and this time, you can control your "crash time," slowing down the post-crash time, steering your remains and racking up some big points. You can also use this feature during races to tactfully take out a closely-trailing opponent racer. This is called a Takedown. There are dozens of different road rage and takedown tactics that can be used on your opponents. Be creative. They're all very cool. Racing is INCREDIBLY FAST. Woo. Drive like a skilled maniac or you're gonna get burned. Dozens of unlockables. Something on the lines of 150+ races and other events. You're not going to have this one done in a couple days like it's Burnout 1 and 2 predecessors. And Burnout 3 is online. Tons of multiplayer options, serious replay value. And since we review music here, too, I should mention the 46 song soundtrack, with some personal favorites on there by Yellowcard, Midtown, My Chemical Romance, Finger Eleven, the Ramones, and too many more to name. It's an amazing compliment to an already perfect game. EA Sports comes through again with their DJ and music feature, very reminiscent of the SSX 3 Tricky snowboard game. In fact, it's the same guy, with the same subtle, often dry, yet timely and witty humor. Or turn the fucker off, altogether. You'll still get all the great music. You won't be disappointed with this game, we promise. As a belated sidenote, Console Biscuits would like to wish all the best to Penny Arcade and the new little bundle of joy, Gabriel Aiden Krahulik, September 9, 2004. And they said video games would make you sterile. ... I swear to god, they said that. Congratulations, Daddy Gabe. - Don
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Master Biscuit