February 12, 2005 -

Master Fish'n'Chips

Does anyone in this fucking country speak English?

The Getaway: Black Monday is a cinematic masterpiece of voice talent and storywriting, something that I was convinced no longer existed outside roleplaying games. All of you familiar with the original Getaway will be even more impressed with the sequel. All of you who did not enjoy the original, well, you're in Barney.

...Barney Rubble. Trouble! Fuckit.

Black Monday follows three characters across London, all of whom are on different sides of the law. The first, a SWAT officer, the second, a boxer, and the third is some cabbie bird I haven't seen yet. Instead of completing the game as one character before moving onto another, the game moves you between the characters as the story progresses.

There's absolutely nothing new in the gameplay. It's pretty much identical, and it was good before. The single difference is in the healing process. Previously, you would hold onto a wall of some sort as you rested and recovered. Personally, I always knew a good 10 seconds of rest would heal all bullet wounds, but this game proved it to me. In Black Monday, however, the power of the wall is lost, somewhat. You can pull this stunt twice at the most until it stops working. You can rest to gain your strength, but you'll eventually have to find some first aid kits if you get busted up enough. And they're not easy to find, so quit pissing around.

I mentioned voice acting. That's because it's a pleasure to sit through the cutscenes of this game. Funny, dramatic, brilliant writing. It's like watching Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch, and then having control of the characters. Of course, you'll probably only think this is brilliant if you actually understand Cockney and any other random mix of British, Scottish, and Irish slang.

I've got nothing else to say about it. It's just good fun. Hurry up and buy this game...before ze Germans come.

- Don
























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