February 21, 2005 -

Actual updates can wait.

This shit is totally fucking hillarious.

Because it's so fucking true.

Exactly. Every ounce of that comic is factual.

"BALL OF STRING!!! IT IS AWESOME!!! 9.9, IGN"

"Jesus Christ monkeyballs, I need this string to live. Graphically, it was amazing. Musical score was enough to make John Williams wet himself and go home crying. Can I tell you something? I have wood right now, and Billy Gates is stroking it."
- Matt, game review dept.

It's like they take a dart board, right? And they put the numbers up on it, and then they throw the darts, and then go insane and just write random numbers anyway.

"OMG FABLE 9.9.9.9!!!"
Copy Editor: "Isn't it just a scale of 10?"
"OMG FABLE 9.9, DEN"
Copy Editor: "... Okay, then, I guess."

There's a guy in the hallway wearing a suit of bright lime green and a giant plastic tooth-smile. Everytime there's a game on the table, he walks into the room and shouts "OH YEAH!" and fucks the editor in the mouth until the score soars past a 9.5.

... That's an IGN trade secret, so keep it under wraps.

- Don