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May 05, 2005 -
I don't know if your schwartz is big enough, but if you put enough force behind it... Clearly, I have no respect for any of you. I was so indulgent in the post-graduation alcohol that has been my life after finals for the last several weeks that I forgot that this website even existed. However, when Ria was gracious enough to remind me that he gave me a comic, I figured, what the hell, I'll actually do my other job and update this. For you. The people. My...fans? Well, you have to be if you're even still reading this. Lego Star Wars has been nothing but a fun trip through a pair of movies that, at best, disappointed me with their overhyped special effects. It's Lego, it's Star Wars ... it's Sonic the Hedgehog gone terribly wrong, with a crack addiction for coins (er, lego pieces) that is absolutely insatiable. But hey, when your chase involves this many lightsabers, blaster pistols, space battles and droid duels, you can't possibly be bored. ...Seriously, I'm not even being sarcastic. For lack of a greater vocabulary, this game is "cute." You smile and chuckle at its devotion to the movies, as if you were a child (and clearly, you are if you're obsessed with both SW AND Legos at this point in your life) clinging to your precious imagination and delving deep into the battles of the Star Wars saga. The graphics are actually very impressive. Interactivity is everywhere, as you'll find yourself switching between multiple characters on every level to unlock all the subtle, hidden secrets of each arena you visit, sometimes having to revisit them with other characters to reach heights you were previously unable. Gameplay is...mindless. Braindead monkeys hurling poo could mash the necessary button required to progress in this game. I mean, absolutely comotose mindless. But it doesn't really take anything away from this title...it just doesn't add anything. I'd give it an 8. I dunno. It's fun and all, but you really have to appreciate it from every level, both SW and Lego, to find yourself happy and at home with it. But, on the plus side, you get to play Episode III. Of course, you could just go get Episode III, which came out today on PS2, X-Box, Nintendo DS and Gameboy. I'll let you know how the PS2 version fares on my next update. Music. Silvertide has an album out called "Show and Tell," which is a rock-revisited sound of the late-80s, possibly early-90s. Their song "Blue Jeans" contains some very sexy lyrics and a great, upbeat sound that has been extinct in rock for many, many years. It's almost something you'd expect at your local 80s-Night joint. Still, it's a superb album to relive your youth. Most...all the lyrics are sexual, which bothers me in absolutely NO way whatsoever, but you might think twice if that's not your cup of tea. Check it out. That's all. SW: Episode III review next time, as well as the new CD from Fall Out Boy, and hey, I might even toss in an Area 51 glance for you Xbox/PS2 uncertains. Let me just summarize it for you now... If you have an XBox and you've played Halo, don't waste your time, but if your PS2 is lonely and needs to kill aliens, do I have the game for you... - Don
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Master Biscuit
