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November 17, 2003 -
Happy one month anniversary to us. We're very happy to still be here, hopefully handing off a dash of informative information and sarcastic humor that has been received, at least with some, appreciatively. Ria expresses his gratitude as well and will have more comics later, as well as something to say, at some point. What better way to celebrate one month than with new game reviews? The very nice girl at Blockbuster stopped me before I left, handing me a copy of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King for X-Box with a smile. I've been smiling ever since, too. The game is stunning, and far more expansive than its Two Towers predecessor. There are flawless, absolutely flawless transitions from actual movie clips of the upcoming film into actual game graphics. The opening sequence features Gandalf charging down the hill with the cavalry at Helm's Deep, and mid-charge, turns from film to game, as you dismount without so much as a loading screen and start hacking Sauron's bitches. There are three main quests you can play through: The Path of the King, Wizard, and Hobbits. So far, I'm having fun with Gandalf, as Aragorn's path is by far more difficult, even on the normal setting. Might have to bump that down to easy, as Aragorn's sword moves are a bit too slow against massive packs of enemies. This was where the game faltered a bit. While you do have Legolas and Gimly fighting alongside of you, controlled by computer A.I., they do not do a little something I like to call absolutely anything. HOWEVER! Despite the failures of the computer to adequately control your companions, the game offers you a complete 2-player cooperation mode, which is wonderful, and far easier. With all the extra features, including cast interviews, concept art, making ofs, etc, this game is worth a rent just to tease yourself until the release of the movie in December, but I probably wouldn't purchase this one. Great rentals, but more of a story-tease than a worthy story to own. My other rental [with a sly grin] was Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball, available exclusively on the X-Box. Holy god is all I have to say. The graphics are exactly the same as Dead or Alive 3, which, if you've played it, you know are absolutely extraordinary. The game itself is pretty much self explanatory. You watch a pack of gorgeous cartoon hussies bounce around wearing next to nothing, huffing, moaning, and otherwise bumping volleyballs across the net. There's little skill required to play this game. Press B to bump and set, A to spike, block, and serve. Woo. Hard. The timing is a little tricky on advanced serving and blocking, but hey, it only takes a little while to get used to. But my lord is this game fun. My roommates and I have yet to put it down. With all the money you make playing volleyball all day (the game proceeds through 14 days, morning, day, evening, and night) and going to the casino and wasting it all on various tables after dark(this is fun!), you can purchase swimsuits, accessories, or fun little presents to make the other girls like you, and consequently, join you to make a 2-person team (if you ask them to, and they accept, of course). The thing that makes this game is the soundtrack. Island music, tolerable pop singers, and a little bit of ska just to liven it up every now and then. It's great! ... That, and... and the girls. Yeah. She, ah...she kicks high. A+, 10 points, bump, set, and buy this game. I highly approve. Hours of fun. Especially alone. [glance left, glance right] You heard nothing! -Don
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Master Biscuit