And now, Console Biscuits brings you movie reviews.
The movie Paycheck needs to kiss my ass and buy me dinner for sitting through it. John Woo? You need to be drug into the street and shot, you old fuck. I sat through Mission Impossible: 2. THE ENTIRE MOVIE. Do you know the best part? The soundtrack. Why? Because you had nothing to do with it. Ben Affleck was good back when he and Matt Damon were 69-ing themselves into stardom. But now? Matt's still impressing me. Bourne Identity was a damn good movie. What was the last good thing you did, Ben? Daredevil? Oh wait, I said good movie. Fine. Sum of all Fears. Do a sequel. Blow up those Chinese sons of beeches [EndofWorld.swf - editor] for all I care - just don't ever take someone like Uma Thurman, fresh from a Quentin Tarantino film, and make her walk around and hold onto your dick for 20 minutes, all leading to the most dramatic scene where you tightly hold onto a plastic curtain, dangling THREE FEET OFF THE FUCKING GROUND.
...In conclusion, rent it.
- Don
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The movie Paycheck needs to kiss my ass and buy me dinner for sitting through it. John Woo? You need to be drug into the street and shot, you old fuck. I sat through Mission Impossible: 2. THE ENTIRE MOVIE. Do you know the best part? The soundtrack. Why? Because you had nothing to do with it. Ben Affleck was good back when he and Matt Damon were 69-ing themselves into stardom. But now? Matt's still impressing me. Bourne Identity was a damn good movie. What was the last good thing you did, Ben? Daredevil? Oh wait, I said good movie. Fine. Sum of all Fears. Do a sequel. Blow up those Chinese sons of beeches [EndofWorld.swf - editor] for all I care - just don't ever take someone like Uma Thurman, fresh from a Quentin Tarantino film, and make her walk around and hold onto your dick for 20 minutes, all leading to the most dramatic scene where you tightly hold onto a plastic curtain, dangling THREE FEET OFF THE FUCKING GROUND.